


The Cat and the Gladiator

by ruff_ethereal



Series: San Fransokyo 7 [2]
Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Explicit Language, F/F, Minor Canonical Character(s), Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-02-27 17:01:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2700542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruff_ethereal/pseuds/ruff_ethereal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When night falls on San Fransokyo, Chemical Kitten plays the flirting game with fellow hero Mercuria.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Cat's Claws

**Author's Note:**

> Formerly part of "We Could Be So Much More (Except We Already Are)" . The author decided that shoving in the Honey GoGo into the former just felt too forced, so they went in a very different direction that they feel works better for everyone.

“Looks like this Kitty just saved your life!”

Mercuria turned around to see a Yakuza about to nail her with a shotgun. He was trapped in a bright pink cocoon of gunk, iridescent and glowing even in the dimness of the warehouse. A half-second later, a bolt of pure energy rocketed through the air and nailed him in the head.

“Damn!” Crash cried as he ran up to join the gladiator, “Beaten to the punch. Or should I say, scratch?”

Someone up in the walkways giggled—definitely female, definitely playful. Through the tinted visor of her helmet, Mercuria tried to find this mysterious third voice.

“Good one, Crash!” She said again as she jumped off the scaffolds and to the ground. The gladiator rushed forward to catch her.

_Bzzt._

Crash’s electro-tether pulled her back at the shoulders, then dispersed. The momentum left Mercuria sitting on her butt on the concrete floor, limbs splayed out.

“It’s cool, ‘Curia,” The hacker explained, “Cats always land on their feet.”

And land she did.

Her platform heels barely made a sound as they touched the ground, only kicking up clouds of dust. From the shadows, she sauntered forward into the light, long, long legs coming ever closer, with way more hip movement than she actually needed to get there. A thin tail swished playfully behind the tall, lithe, cat-themed dominatrix.

From her vantage point on the floor, Mercuria saw right up her skin-tight dress. Her stockings went all the way up her leg before they stopped at a pair of short shorts that could just barely be called that. The robotic tail harness was designed like a garter belt. She couldn’t see where exactly it poked out just yet.

The gladiator looked further up. A pair of jade green eyes beamed at her. Their owner wore a hot pink, smiling cat mask. The bottom slid apart, revealing a pair of pretty pink lips curled in an even more mischievous smile.

She held out a white glove to Mercuria. It was shaped like a paw. Her fingers were long, elegant.

“What’s your name, hot stuff?”

Underneath the helmet, blushing like crazy, the messenger of justice found she had suddenly lost her voice.

“Oooh, strong, silent type huh?” She purred, “And here I thought you were already pretty sexy~”

Crash pulled Mercuria up by the shoulders. The gladiator’s legs had suddenly lost all structural integrity. The scene was like a puppeteer trying to stand up a puppet that was two strings short.

For what it was worth, the cat lady only kept on smiling.

Crash finally resorted to shackling Mercuria’s legs to nearby pallets, holding her lower half up like a suspension bridge made of energy. She was immediately thankful that her helmet—like the hacker’s—showed nothing underneath.

The man put his hands to her shoulders, resting his chin on one side. “Mercuria, this is Chemical Kitten! Kitty, this is my friend Mercuria. Shake the nice cat lady’s paw now, ‘Curia!”

The gladiator mechanically raised her arm up and shook hands with the feline crime fighter.

“Mmm…” She purred again, a throaty, sensual sound that turned Mercuria’s legs to jelly once more, “I finally have a name to put on this pretty face~” She gave the other woman’s visor a light poke. “Me-ow…~”

Chemical Kitten gave a playful swipe at the air. Mercuria’s arms lost their structural integrity, too.

“Crash, you’ve been a _very_ naughty boy; going out to party with the Yakuza and you didn’t even call this cat to come out and play!” She pouted, the gladiator’s arms lost what control they’d regained. “And with such a pretty little potential playmate for me, too! Shame on you!”

“Sorry, Kitty; it was kind of a spur of the moment thing,” Crash explained as he idly operated Mercuria’s arms like a carbon-fiber armoured crash test dummy made of gelatin, “That, and I didn’t know you were into girls.”

Chemical Kitten leaned in close. Uncomfortably close. As if she could peer through the tint, and see Mercuria’s blushing, sweating, and gawping face underneath.

“Well… now we _all_ know, don’t we~?”

The cat lady pulled back, spun on her heel, and sauntered away. Her tail rose up and gave a sharp, whip-like crack, the tip just barely brushing Mercuria’s visor.

“This cat needs to high tail it. Goodnight, Crash; goodnight, Mercuria~”

She turned around and blew a kiss. Then, she crouched down once more, and sprung back up into the walkways, and out into the night.

“Well, no guesses as to who _that_ was for.” Crash remarked. “How’s your legs? Still numb after Cupid shot you in the knees?”

The energy suspension cables dispersed. Mercuria staggered around for a moment, and found she could walk again.

“Good to hear it, ‘Curia!” The hacker clapped his hands. “We’re done here, everybody go home.”

“Should I be…?” The gladiator mumbled, “Concerned?”

“Eh, I wouldn’t worry about it,” Crash replied, “Chemical Kitten flirts with everybody, and she always makes sure to leave a lasting first impression.”

“Ah.”

“Then again, those _were_ all guys and she _did_ just say she’s a lesbian…”

* * *

“Huh? What?!” GoGo scrambled, pushing herself up from her workstation.

Honey Lemon was in front of her. She looked worried. “GoGo, can I tell you something really honest, and really rude?”

GoGo nodded. She was starting to fall asleep again.

“You look like _shit.”_

GoGo bolted up. She was wide awake.

“Have you taken anything?” The chemist asked, “Coffee? Energy drinks? Soda?”

GoGo shook her head. As if she even had time for breakfast…

“Wait right here.” Honey Lemon was gone.

“GoGo?” The chemist shook the courier awake before she could nod off again. She handed her a pill and a cup of water, and laid a pillow right on top of her workstation.

The engineer took it without thinking. “What is this?” She asked after she swallowed it.

“My One-Two Punch.”

“Why do you call it your One-Two Pu—“

* * *

GoGo woke up feeling like crap. But, she wasn’t a zombie, so that was a plus.

“You’re awake!” Honey Lemon cried. “I mean—of course you’re awake!” She laughed nervously.

“What—“ The engineer stopped. Everything around her was moving in slow motion. She turned to face her friend, and everything was moving at normal speed again.

Then she realized, she felt awake. Not caffeine rush awake, awake-awake. Didn’t stay up all night, woke up normally like a regular person awake.

“What—“

“Happened last night?” Honey Lemon interrupted her.

“I…” GoGo trailed off, pondering on what exactly she should say.

“I couldn’t sleep last night. So I tried jerking off to a fantasy of this crazy hot cat lady I just met. I ended up teasing myself till morning, because she would never let me finish.”

What she actually said was:

“Late night deliveries. Dragged on for much longer than they should have.”

The chemist nodded, and reached over. She realized her hands were still occupied, and hurriedly stuffed them both into the inside pockets of her lab coat. Then, she reached over and gently brushed away some of GoGo’s purple tinted locks, her fingertips just touching the skin.

“Get some sleep as soon as you can, alright?” Honey Lemon said, looking right into the engineer’s eyes, _“Real_ sleep. You won’t crash from the One-Two, but you will suddenly feel like shit all over again.”

“Gotcha.” GoGo nodded. “And Honey?”

“Yes?”

“You can have your hand back now.”

“Oh.” The hand shot back to its owner. “R-right.” She fled before GoGo could say another word.

The courier leaned forward, after the rapidly disappearing form of Honey Lemon. “You forgot your pillow!”

“I’ll get it later!” She replied, before she dove behind the other side of two students carrying a wall divider.

GoGo shook her head. Then, she frowned. She looked at her watch. Ten minutes till her next class.

It was the only one for the day. She could be back at her house before lunch, crash for several hours, and still wake up good to go for another night of crime fighting.

She sighed at the thought. She hoped she wouldn’t run into Chemical Kitten again.

Whoever the hell she was, she had her claws in _deep._


	2. Look What The Cat Dragged In

“Do I scare you?”

Chemical Kitten cupped the bottom of Mercuria’s helmet, turning her visor up to face her.

“Or do I annoy you?”

Kitty pressed her face up to that visor, in that complete lack of personal space she was so fond of.

“Or… do I _excite_ you?”

She slowly turned around, letting her tail rise up and slowly curl around and off the gladiator’s neck.

Agent Kajiki coughed. Fredzilla kept on humming superhero cartoon theme songs. Both men had their backs turned, and stood at the exit of the dead end alley.

“We can totally leave and give you privacy, if you need it!” The Kaiju yelled.

“Yes!” Kajiki added, “We can meet up later, by the shadow of the docks.”

Kitty purred as she considered the offer, casting a glance at the two men. Then, she looked back at Mercuria and grinned. “I don’t know, I think I like the idea of an—“

Woosh.

Chemical Kitten was completely unfazed, her tail and hair merely blowing in the wake of the gladiator’s mad dash. Kajiki and ‘Zilla were not so lucky, just barely diving out of the way before the yellow blur zoomed right past them, and rounded the corner. “The docks!” She yelled before she disappeared into the night.

Kitty sauntered up to her allies, holding her hands out to them as they picked themselves up off the floor. “Haa… seems litte ‘Curia had a bit too much of me for now.”

Agent Kajiki took her hand. “Your presence is strong, yes.” He said. “Sometimes, too strong.” The man muttered. He readjusted his fish-shaped helmet, and dusted off his coat.

“I know it might be a little out of place for me to say,” Fredzilla said as he waved the woman off and sprang back to his feet, “But maybe you could be a little less forward next time? I know being flirty and super-confident is your thing but… you might scare her off. For good.”

Chemical Kitten chuckled. “Nonsense, boys. She’ll be back and begging for more soon enough!”

* * *

Honey Lemon blinked, and looked at her friend. She forced a very, very fake smile, trying to imitate as much of her usual cheer as possible. “Oh, hi GoGo! Did you need something?” The mechanic frowned and pointed to the back of the chemist’s laboratory.

Honey Lemon turned back and yelped. A short time later, she had turned off her burner, salvaged what was left of the chemicals, and set the emptied flasks and beakers by the sink to cool off and await cleaning.

The chemist was back at her counter once more, still trying not to look mopey and distraught. “Thanks. So, what brings you here?” She forced the smile and the cheer once more, propping her head up with her arms and hand.

“Honey, is something wrong?”

“Ugh.” Honey Lemon dropped the act. She buried her face into the counter, hiding it away with her arms. “It’s stupid and personal, I don’t want to bother you with it.” GoGo reached over and patted her on the back. “Do you really want to hear it?”

“If it will make you feel better,” The engineer said, “I don’t like hearing you all sad.”

Honey Lemon looked up at her friend and smiled. It quickly turned back into a frown. “Ugh, where to begin… there’s this girl, okay? I’m sort of… interested in her. Romantically, I mean.”

GoGo’s face flashed a brief mix of relief and despair. Lucky for her, the chemist was looking off to the side while she spoke. “And…?”

“I don’t know if she even wants to speak to me again!” Honey Lemon wailed, throwing her arms up into the air.

The engineer pulled back. She slowly reached over and patted Honey Lemon on the back again. “So, what happened?”

“What happened?” The chemist said as she lowered her arms, “I was being too flirty with her, was what happened.” GoGo blinked, stopped chewing, and said nothing. “She’s hot. Really, really hot, and I’m like _crazy_ attracted to her, but she’s you know…” Her hand whisked the air, “The strong, silent, confident type.”

The engineer nodded, and started chewing her gum more vigorously.

“So I get it in my head: she’s not going to suddenly catch interest in me if I’m just myself,” GoGo raised a hand, and quickly put it back down. “So I try to be cute, playful, flirty! Forward, to show that I’m willing to take the initiative, to play rather than just be played with. But then… ugh.” Honey Lemon’s head met the counter once more.

“I think I got too into it… _way_ too into it…” The chemist said as she lay sideways. Her hands kept on moving and gesturing at the same height as earlier. “I think might have scared off, for good, even! I mean it was crazy fun, yeah! Kinda like trying out a new outfit, looking into the mirror, and saying to yourself, ‘Yes! That’s it!’” She pointed at an imaginary mirror. “’This is so my new look!’ but…” She trailed off, and sniffed.

GoGo pulled her hand back, and laid her head on the counter, too. “Honey Lemon, I don’t think you’ve scared off. Especially not for good.”

The chemist sighed. “Yeah, I highly doubt that…”

“Sorry works well. That fails, gifts.”

Honey Lemon blinked. “Gifts…” Suddenly, she rocketed up off the counter, surged forward and scooped GoGo in a big, enthusiastic hug. “Of course! Gifts! And I know just the thing to give her!” The chemist squealed, and hugged her even tighter, before she finally pulled them both apart. “Oh, thank you, GoGo, you’re the best!”

The engineer hoped her blush wasn’t too obvious. “Any time, Honey.”

* * *

“Kitty has a gift for you~”

Chemical Kitten pulled out a flash drivee. It was hot pink, with the casing shaped like a cartoon cat’s head. She smiled, and put one end of the stick between her teeth. She sauntered over till she was close but not quite up to Mercuria’s face. Kitty bent down in front of the gladiator, using the extra foot and inches she had over her to close the distance. The flash drive was right in front of the shorter woman’s visor, where her mouth would be.

“Don’t worry~” The cat chemist said after the gladiator took it, “I haven’t put in a program to watch you with your helmet off and your clothes off, while you paw off.” Her lips curled into a smile.

“Paw off…?” Mercuria asked.

Chemical Kitten kept on smiling. “You’ll figure it out eventually, hot stuff.” Her mask closed over her mouth once more. “Oh, don’t even ponder plugging it into a public place,” Kitty said as she walked away, “Because I put a picture of something pretty personal, private, and **pink** in there that’ll present itself when you pry open my present.”

Under her helmet, Mercuria’s eyes darted from the flash drive to Chemical Kitten.

“It’s my pink pussy lips, if you must know~”

* * *

GoGo closed the giant, blown-up image of Chemical Kitten’s lips, done up with pink lip gloss and puckered up for a kiss. She sighed, mumbled “Very clever…” and dug into the rest of the folders OpenMe.exe revealed.

It was designs. Not new equipment; just an entirely new costume. As she pored over the schematics and sketches, the engineer had to admit: she liked it. Whoever Kitty was outside of that mask, she was damn good at fashion for superheroes.

Etchings of fire and her shields on the gloves and boots. A sleek helmet, a cross between a cyclist’s and Mercury’s, only the wings were integrated into the overall shape, rather than tacked on the sides. The same sliding mouthpiece from Kitty’s mask, so she wouldn’t be completely muffled whenever she talked casually, along with space for a mic to amplify her voice in the heat of combat. An emblem of her shield on the chest, flaming wings on either side.

GoGo scrolled to the end, and found a note:

“P.S. Sorry~ :3”

The engineer choked. A hand flew up to cover her webcam. She reached over to the side, and covered her computer with a spare shirt. Though she knew it was being _extremely_ paranoid, she also pulled down the blinds of her windows and double checked the locks on her doors.

She wasn’t going to be sleeping that night, so she grabbed a spare flash drive and started copying files. She had to go see a man about some armour...

* * *

The slab of steel behind the bullet proof glass slid open. Staring back at Mercuria was the eternally cheerful mask of Smiling Jack. He carried out all conversation via a monitor right next to his window.

>hello Mercuria :)

>what brings you here tonight?

The gladiator held up a flash drive. “I need new armour.”

>what’s wrong with the old set?

>aside from it being bland, uninspired, and boringly practical?

Mercuria clenched her fist. “It’s time for a change.”

The metal drawer underneath the counter yawned open. She dropped the stick in, and it shut as soon as her fingers were out of the way. There was a brief pause as Jack plugged it in.

>oooh

>this is nice

>it’s Kitty’s work

“How do you know that?”

>she has a distinctive style

>I can see it all over this

>you are one very lucky gal

>Kitty only did this for her own armour set

>no one else :)

“I see.”

>Kitty’s got a crush on you

>hot mama

>kinda crazy though

>guess it comes with the territory

Mercuria sighed. “How much, how long, Jack?”

>luckier you Kitty’s paid for it

>you can get it tomorrow night

>she sprung for the express job you know

>BIG batch of brownies for ole Jack

>the very good shit

>and I do mean –very- good

>ask her about them

>you won’t regret it

“’Brownies’ is a euphemism?”

>you can assume anything you want

>except you getting these brownies

>anything else?

“No. Goodbye, Jack.”

>bye Mercuria :)

The metal slab slid shut once more. On the other side, Hiro took off his mask, spun on his seat, and dug back into the bag of delicious brownies on his desk. He pulled out another slice of heaven and eagerly bit into it.

“Mmm… fudge caramel pecan…”


	3. Ties That Bind

Mercuria turned her head to Chemical Kitten. “Kitty. Please. Get me out.”

“Hmm…” The feline superhero waltzed closer to the slab in the center of the room, hovering her hands over the electrified chains latched onto Mercuria’s hands and feet. “Well, this cat’s claws just aren’t going to cut it…”

She idly picked a stray strand of her blond hair and let it gently fall onto a chain. It disintegrated.

Mercuria started to sweat. “Look around. There’s gotta be something.”

“True, true,” Chemical Kitten said as she continued her circle around her trapped ally, “But I have to ask myself, though: do I _really_ want to free you?”

“What?” Mercuria blinked, “Kitty, this is **not** the time!”

The crime-fighting cat just chuckled. “Not the time for what? For jokes?” She stopped as she stood right by the gladiator’s head, and bent over her, her smiling cat mask right over the opaque visor. “Or… for something else~?”

Mercuria gulped. Even in the controlled temperature of her armour, she was starting to feel clammy.

“Mmm, you’ve been having naughty fantasies about this, haven’t you?” Chemical Kitten pulled away, and walked out of sight.

Mercuria turned her head around as much as it could, found it couldn’t turn far enough.

“I never really took you for the type, ‘Curia!” Kitty’s heels were silent as always, “But now that I know… colour me quite curious!” She paused. “And more than a little bit excited, really…”

Mercuria tried to speak, but found her mouth had gone dry.

Chemical Kitten purred. “Oh, the things I could do to you right now… or rather, the things you _want_ me to do to you right now…”

Cha-chunk.

The electricity shut off, the manacles broke open. The gladiator could move again. Except, her body didn’t seem to want to.

“Big red lever. How cliché. And convenient!” Chemical Kitten slapped her paws down the sides of her head, her mask filling Mercuria’s sights once more. “You’re free now, ‘Curia; you can stop pretending I’ve got you in a corner.”

“…”

Kitty chuckled. “Oh, damn, did I get you _really_ worked up earlier?” Her mouthpiece parted, to show off the size of her grin. “This is a really big thing for you, isn’t it?”

“…”

Chemical Kitten raised one long, elegant leg, and stepped it onto the slab. In two smooth motions, she stood over Mercuria, a foot on either side of her head. The gladiator could see straight up the cat woman’s dress again.

Her robotic tail harness poked out where her human tailbone ended—as if it were a natural extension of her body.

Kitty keyed in a formula on the chem-collar at her waist. A bell was in her hand in seconds. She didn’t use her tail to launch it this time, instead using her hand to drop it right between Mercuria’s legs.

The slab was suddenly covered in frictionless fluid. Chemical Kitten casually stepped on the gladiator’s chest, and sent her sailing off the table and onto the floor with her foot.

Thud.

Mercuria tried to pick herself up, touched the fluid, and had her arm go rocketing back to the floor. She could hear the sounds of Kitty’s chem-collar working, and a second bell was dropped. The new fluid brought the friction back.

“Sorry to be such a tease, ‘Curia,” Chemical Kitten explained, “But I’m a firm follower of SSC—Safe, Sane, and Consensual. And I don’t think those chains were very safe~”


	4. Dinner Date

“It worked! My gift worked!” Honey Lemon cried, eagerly grabbing GoGo’s hands as she started to dance an enthusiastic jig in the Nerd Lab. “She’s talking to me again! AND she said it was an awesome gift!” The chemist squealed in happiness. “Oh, I thought I’d screwed up badly, but guess what?”

The engineer tried to figure which of the three Honeys she should be making eye contact with. “What?” She asked the one in the middle.

“She was never angry at me in the first place!” Honey Lemon squealed again and let go, “She wants me to tone it down, obviously, but all that worrying was for nothing!” She jumped into the air and cheered. If she wasn’t wearing platform heels, she would have probably clicked her shoes together, too.

GoGo slapped both sides of her head to make the multiplication of everything in sight stop. “Nice…” She mumbled as everything started to sway.

“And because you were the one to suggest giving her a gift:” Honey Lemon stopped and pointed, “I’m taking you out to dinner tonight!”

GoGo blinked, and tried to make sure she wasn’t hearing things, too. “Wait, what?”

“Dinner! I’m taking you out for it!” Honey Lemon cried, looping her arm over GoGo’s shoulder, “And paying for it all, too; don’t you even dare reach for your wallet!”

The mechanic looked at her friend, noticed how close their faces were, and blushed. “What like a… date?”

Honey Lemon sputtered. “What? No!” She blushed and waved her hand through the air and pulled away, her arm retreating with her, “Not like a date, like a… just friends going out thing.” She paused. “Unless you want it to be a—!“

They were both interrupted by their phones. The chemist’s played a cat’s yowl; the engineer’s vibrated in a specific series. Neither noticed that they had gotten the calls at the exact same time.

“I gotta go…“ Honey Lemon said as she pulled out her phone, her smile turning into a frown.

GoGo thumbed to the door of the Nerd Lab, and waved goodbye before she took off running.

“Next time, I am taking you out to dinner!” The chemist yelled after her, before running off to a different exit.

* * *

Crash threw the last of the Yakuza goons into the pile of beaten up, gunked, and magnetically restrained criminals. “That’s the last of them!” The hacker said, dusting off his gloves, sparks raining down below. “We’re done here.”

“Sweet!” Fredzilla roared, raising his arms up in the air, “Who wants to go out for tacos?”

Mercuria shot the monster an incredulous look. “You serious?”

“The call to action came in the middle of my pizza!” The Kaiju explained, rubbing his stomach as he spoke. “All that fighting can make a guy even hungrier.”

Crash sucked in a deep breath, and sighed. “Yeah, I sorta skipped dinner tonight, too.”

“The spirit is hungry for justice,” Agent Kajiki added, “The body is hungry for food.”

“This cat can go for some noms, too.” Chemical Kitten said as she landed back down from the rafters.

The gladiator was about to reply when her own stomach rumbled. “Fine. Where to?”

‘Zilla clapped his claws together. “Alright! I know a great place nearby, serves great Mexican, few questions asked—I even brought my wallet, definitely enough in there for all of you guys.”

“Sounds good!” Crash clapped his own hands together, sparks falling from his gloves, “Alright, let’s go everybody, after the Kaiju.”

* * *

“Why is it called the Screaming Mariachi?” Chemical Kitten asked as they walked up to the restaurant.

As if on cue, someone inside the place started screaming bloody murder, followed by a loud splash, then someone inside the place screaming garbled bloody murder.

“The _Impyerno_ Hot Sauce,” Fredzilla explained, nodding his head sagely, “It’s serious stuff, don’t kid around with it; it’s part of my own secret sauce.”

The rest of the team cringed as one and resolved not to order it. If it was part of the Kaiju’s flamethrower fuel, it had to be bad.

The monster lined up for the counter. Though some of the patrons were giving them strange looks, most did not comment on nor care about the band of colourful crime fighters that had just stepped into the restaurant.

“Most everything is good,” Fredzilla explained, “But if you want a recommendation, just order the Taco Time or the Big Burrito; Hot-Hot sauce is pretty standard, though you could also go Merry Mild, or Hotter-Hot. Remember: no _Impyerno.”_

The rest of the group placed their orders, Kajiki going off first to find a group table or booth in the restaurant that infringed on his senses the least. In the aged, litter ridden, and slightly smoky restaurant, it was something of a difficult task.

“’Zilla’s gonna take up two spaces, at the least,” Crash said, “Someone’s gonna have to stay at a different table.”

“I’ll do it.” Mercuria said.

“And I’ll join you~!” Chemical Kitten added, putting her hands on the gladiator’s shoulders.

The gladiator resisted the urge to flinch. “Kitty, you—“

“Then it’s settled then! ‘Zilla!” The hacker turned to the Kaiju at the counter, “Chem and ‘Curia are a taking a different table!”

“Gotcha! Enjoy your date!” The monster replied. A human arm reached out from the “mouth” of the costume, handing the cashier his money. “Keep the change.”

The man behind the counter just nodded, counted, and printed up their receipt.

“It’s not—“ Mercuria sighed. Chemical Kitten had already sauntered off in search of a more private table for two; the gladiator followed her.

They sat at one of the tables by the back, near a mural of a devil screaming, an open packet of _Impyerno_ sauce in his hands, and a chalk tally of how many “souls” had been “damned” that week.

Kitty left her lips exposed, her smile beaming through the smoky haze. “Ah, this place is beautiful! Look at all those murals, decorations, and this personality!” She sighed. “I wish I could take pictures.”

“What’s stopping you?”

“Chief of all, secret identities—can’t exactly just use my regular phone—and secondly, costs.” Chemical Kitten’s gaze swept over the numerous murals and doodles on the walls. “Chemical crime-fighting doesn’t come cheap.”

Mercuria nodded. “Right.”

“It must be so convenient to just be able to use the same equipment over and over again, never without a weapon, huh?” Kitty turned to look at Mercuria’s shields, deactivated but still on her gauntlets—the new armour set, she noted with an approving purr.

“Actually, I go through a lot of discs. It’s just as expensive, probably. Never really fast enough.”

“Well, at least you never have to worry about looking good on your wheels, now, do you?” Chemical Kitten leaned forward, her elbows on the table. Her mouthpiece slid back in, the mask’s cat smile back once more.

Mercuria blushed and nodded, thankful for the still opaque visor of the new helmet.

Fredzilla came by with their tray of food and sodas. “Dinner is served!” He said before he laid it onto the table and returned to the rest of the team. The two paused their conversation and busied themselves with unwrapping the tin foil from their burritos.

“You’re really attractive, you know that?” Chemical Kitten said before her first bite.

Mercuria stopped in the middle of hers. “And you’re really flirty.”

The two just ate in silence for a while, before Chemical Kitten took a sip of her soda and spoke again. “Can I tell you a secret, ‘Curia?”

Kitty’s normally confident, sensual voice had dropped to a whisper. Mercuria was all ears. “Sure.”

The crime-fighting cat sighed. “I wish I was as brave and bold as you.”

The gladiator raised an eyebrow. “That’s… nice?”

“You might not know it but under this mask, I’m just a big ole scaredy cat;” Chemical Kitten took a morose bite of her food, chewing much more slowly than earlier, “Probably wouldn’t have even fought crime if I didn’t have it made.”

“Couldn’t fight as just you, huh?”

“Oh, goodness, no!” Kitty shook her head, swallowed her food, and took a long drink of her soda as if to wash a bad taste out of her mouth, “You should have seen my first designs for the costume. Ugh, I don’t know what I was thinking, but woo! You can’t fight crime in safety goggles and industrial strength gloves.”

“But you can in high-heels?”

The chemist cat chuckled. “Specially designed, technologically advanced high heels! And yes! I couldn’t be just boring old secret identity me, I needed to be something more— _someone_ else… I needed to be…”

“Cute. Chic. Killer. You needed to be Chemical Kitten.”

Kitty stopped, stunned. “Yes! That’s perfect! I need to write that down…” She pulled out a pen from somewhere in the recesses of her pockets and did so on a table napkin.

“Making a theme song?”

“As a matter of fact, I probably will now!”

“I was joking.”

“Too late~!” Chemical Kitten playfully stuck her tongue out.

“Heading out!” Agent Kajiki yelled from the other side of the restaurant, carefully stepping away from the table and around the piles of litter.

The two women paused and looked at their friends. Almost all of them had finished their meals, and ‘Zilla was reaching for more napkins through the mouth of his suit. They looked down at their food, still half-eaten.

“Well.”

Chemical Kitten smiled sheepishly. “Guess we should actually start eating dinner on this dinner date, huh?”

“Yeah.” Mercuria went back to work on hers at double time.

“Hey, ‘Curia?” Kitty reached over with her hand, but pulled it back, “Thanks for the date. I’m having a wonderful time.”


	5. Sweet Relief

“Ha! Tired? Of flirting?” Chemical Kitten parted her mouthpiece, to show off her grin, “Sweetie, when I put on this costume, I’ve got two goals: fight crime, and have fun. And for this feline?” She pointed at herself, “Flirting is forever fun.”

Mercuria nodded, and turned her head to the other side of the tower. “Doesn’t it, uh, affect you?” She asked as she scanned the horizon.

“Of course!” Kitty replied as she did the same on her quadrant, “The rise is my reason.”

“How do you deal with it?” The gladiator looked down over the edge, even though her friend couldn’t see her face.

“I have my ways! What, sweetie, did you think I just rushed home after every night on patrol and furiously paw away my pent up problem?” Chemical Kitten spared a look over her shoulder to throw Mercuria a sly grin.

The sight of the gladiator awkwardly shuffling her feet wiped it right off her face.

“Oh, sweetie…” Chemical Kitten held out her hand, about to pat Mercuria on the shoulder when a bright flash of something blue in the distance caught her eye. “Oh, damn! That’s the signal!”

The feline crime-fighter shook her head and dropped a cat’s cradle bell over the side. She jumped off the tower and onto the gelatinous cushion, Mercuria following soon after.

“Try not to get too distracted by me, ‘Curia!” Chemical Kitten cried after her friend, but she had already zoomed off to the danger zone.

“At least I know what I’m doing after patrol tonight…~” Kitty mumbled to herself as she rocketed off to the rooftops.

* * *

Chemical Kitten slammed her paws on the counter. “Oh come on, Jack! You’ve done worse for me in the past!”

>Kitty

>look

>I’m sorry :(

>I may be an amoral arms dealer

>but I have standards, alright?

Kitty pressed her mask up to the bulletproof glass, her bared teeth exposed. “You also have your price. How much, Jack?”

>NO

The mouthpiece slid back in. “Imagine this, Jack:”

>Kitty

“A triple fudge chocolate cake so decadent, you’d swear it was shopped, but no, it’s real, oh so very real…”

>Kitty what are you doing

“Three layers—a moist chocolate cake base so light and fluffy it’s like air…”

>KITTY NO

“Smooth, rich, and creamy frosting, made with real butter, hand-churned, fresh from the farmer’s market, silky and warm…”

>OH GOD YOU BITCH

>I hate you so much right now

Chemical Kitten stood at the counter, her tail idly swishing behind her head, her pink lips curled into a slight smile.

>keep talking pastry to me                             

>I’ll do it

“Inside, dark fudge filling. Thick and creamy…”

* * *

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained…” GoGo mumbled as she opened up the cat themed rucksack on her kitchen table.

The contents surprised her: a set of vials, instructions, another data-disk, but chief of all, what looked like miniature chemical sprayers painted in the reverse of her Mercuria outfit scheme—black with gold highlights. She picked up one of the tubes of fluid and read the label on the side.

“Nap Nap Juice. For when sleep slips from your claws.” She picked up a different vial, and another, and another, going through the entire collection. “Cold Water Bucket: For when things get too hot in the oven. Kitty Kitty Bang Bang: For when the claws come out. Hip, Hop, Hype: For when things just plain suck…”

They were all Chemical Kitten’s personal formulas and mixes. From the more frank, professional instructions and manuals, aromatherapy scents.

_‘Had Jack make the gear,’_ Read the note in pink print on white paper, _‘Dipped my paws into my personal stash for you. Data disk contains instructions on how to install the new sprayers and control mechanism, ingredients lists, alternatives and where you can get them in case I’ve got my paws full. This stuff doesn’t come cheap so I expect you to pay me back. I take kisses, hugs, compliments, cuddles, and if you want to make a lump-sum, come over and see me sometime with the lights off, your armour off, and the shyness off._

_‘P.S. We can both keep our helmets on.’_

GoGo blushed, and shook her head. She briefly wondered if Chemical Kitten was being serious, before she saw a second rucksack inside the bigger one. She opened up it up, and her eyes shot wide open. The engineer immediately tried to figure out how to load Cold Water Bucket into a sprayer.

_‘P.P.S. (hehe) I paw off in the privacy of my place, where I can play with my pink parts and all my titillating toys, thank you very much.’_ Read the first one, attached just outside of the bag.

_‘P.P.P.S. Yes, I tried it out before the aromatherapy. Trust me, it only makes it worse.’_ Read the second one, visible just after opening it.

_‘P.P.P.P.S. Think of me like I think of you for me, sweetie~? :3’_ Read the last one, posted on top of a skimpy, frilly pair of pink panties.


	6. Licking Your Wounds

“Kitty!”

Mercuria dashed off after her, but the Yakuza was already right behind the cat chemist, pressing the barrel of their rifle into the back of her head. Chemical Kitten turned around just in time to see the grunt squeeze the trigger.

Faster than even the gladiator could move, Kitty punched the gangster in the gut and sent them reeling back in pain. A burst of gunfire caught her in the leg before she sprung away to the rooftops.

Mercuria tried to follow her, but there were already even more grunts coming out of the warehouses. She raised up her shields, bullets clanging against the metal, and went screaming towards the closest goon.

They went down with a thunderous clang, her shield smashing right into their head. The gladiator knew she’d hit harder than she was supposed to, but she didn’t care. The gangster was still breathing as they writhed on the floor, weren’t they?

It only took another minute of shooting and shouting for the gangsters to finally go on the retreat. Fredzilla chased off the last of them with a warning gout of flame.

“This is _our_ city!” The Kaiju roared, shaking his arms at the fleeing cars and boats, “Not yours!”

“Mercuria!” Agent Kajiki cried as he and Crash ducked back into the warehouses, “Check the docks!”

The gladiator nodded, and zoomed off around buildings and old warehouses. All the while, she was looking up at the rooftops, around corners, and in tight spots, looking for a flash of pink.

“AGH!”

Mercuria dashed to the noise as quickly as she could. She rounded the corner, and found Chemical Kitten.

She was kneeling, one leg stretched out, her body turned around so she could reach her lower back. Bullets had torn through her armour, blood oozing out of her wounds, a white substance bubbling and fizzing over them. One shaky hand hovered over her injuries, a spray can rolling on the floor till it came to a stop by Mercuria’s foot.

“Kitty?”

Chemical Kitten turned to the gladiator and yelped. Her body jerked and she howled in pain once more. Her mouthpiece slid over her mask, the sobs quickly muffled.

“Kitty, what the hell’s going on?!” The gladiator sheathed her shields and knelt beside her friend.

“O-oh, hi Mercuria!” The cat replied, her voice shaky and wracked with sobs, “Guess we’re even now, since you saved one of my nine lives earlier!”

The gladiator turned around and saw the spray can. She turned back to the chemist’s wounds, the white substance sizzling away into nothing.

“It’s just part one of my Wound Licker treatment!” Chemical Kitten explained, her hand now massaging the skin near her wounds, “Could you go get it for me?”

Mercuria shook her head, and retrieved the can. “Are you sure you should be using this stuff?”

“Oh, yeah!” The cat nodded vigorously as she pocketed the solution, “It’s a little bit rough, but nothing heals me faster!”

“How rough, exactly?”

Chemical Kitten remained silent.

“How many parts are there?”

Kitty looked away. “Three.”

Mercuria nodded. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Chemical Kitten held out her other hand. “Hold my paw, please. I’m warning, you though: this cat’s claws are gonna dig in _deep.”_

The gladiator took the white gloved hand into her own carbon-fiber clad hand. Then, she pulled it back, unlatched her armour, and held out a bare, pale hand. Beneath their mask and helmet, both women blushed.

Kitty pulled off her own glove, and set it to the side. Her mouthpiece slid open to reveal her smile, before her long, elegant fingers wrapped around Mercuria’s, and held on for dear life. Her gloved paw reached over for a second spray in her thigh pouches.

* * *

“You wouldn’t have anything for a broken hand, would you?” Mercuria groaned as shook her ungloved hand.

“Sorry, sweetie,” Chemical Kitten smiled sheepishly as she pulled her glove back on, “Though this cat could kiss it to make it all better!”

The gladiator blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

Kitty gently stretched out her injured leg, and slowly stood back up to her full height. She sauntered over to the still kneeling gladiator, and bent down. “I’m sorry; would you prefer I kiss you on the lips instead?”

Mercuria stayed silent.

“Stand up for me, sweetie, this kitty’s got another present for you.”

Mercuria stood up, her body on automatic.

“No mouthpiece, ‘Curia. There, much better~”

Chemical Kitten cradled the gladiator’s bare chin with one hand, slowly turning her head up. “Now close your eyes, sweetie.”

“… W-what for?”

“I can’t kiss you with this mask on. So, I’m going to take it off, and you’re not going to peek, alright?”

Beneath the black of her visor, Mercuria shut her eyes as tightly as they could. “They’re closed.”

It was only a quick peck, just a second of those warm, pink lips pressing up against hers. It left the gladiator shaking and trembling, with the faint taste of strawberry on her tongue.

“You can peek now."

Mercuria did, and saw Chemical Kitten’s back. The cat was fiddling with her mask, putting it back on. “You like my lip gloss?” She said as she looked behind her shoulder, the jade green eyes flickering back on with a mischievous half-lidded look.

Mercuria nodded dumbly.

“Well, do more sweet favours for me and maybe I’ll let you have a little more sugar next time… or maybe a lot~!” The cat chuckled and the gladiator found her legs turning to jelly once more.

“There you two are!” Crash said as he ran up to the two, Fredzilla and Kajiki in tow, “We were wondering if you two just up and left!”

They weren’t.

Chemical Kitten gave a nonchalant wave of her hand as she turned back around. “Oh, ‘Curia was just helping this cat cure what ailed her—a bad case of baddie bullets. Weren’t we, Mercuria?”

The gladiator nodded her head mechanically. The others tried not to snicker, and failed.

“Anyway, this cat needs to high tail it; I need a long catnap. See you, you fine folk!” The cat turned around once more and waved goodbye, sauntering out of the docks and back to the streets. “Mercuria especially~!”

She rounded a corner, and was gone.

“So, you two finally hooked up, huh?” Crash said, breaking the silence.

“No, we did not.” Mercuria replied.

“Hey, Agent, bet you twenty bucks they hook up for real.” Fredzilla said, reaching his human arm out the maw on his chest.

“You’re on.” Kajiki replied, shaking it.

The gladiator groaned. “I’m heading out.” She picked up her glove from the floor, pulled it back on, and zoomed back into San Fransokyo, ignoring the smiles and the knowing looks behind her.

* * *

“Honey, you’re limping.”

“Oh, yeah,” The chemist waved her friend off, “Just had a small cooking accident last night, no big deal.”

GoGo bent down and peered closer at Honey’s stockings; the latter bit her lip, trying her best not to look down at the engineer.

“Are those bandages and blood?!” GoGo shot back up, “Honey, what the hell—“

Honey Lemon grabbed her shoulder, spun her around to face her, and put a finger to her friend’s lips. “GoGo, please! It’s not important, I’ve already treated it… just, please, for me? Keep quiet about this?”

GoGo narrowed her eyes, and reluctantly nodded.

Honey smiled. “Thank you. I just had a small cooking accident last night, okay?”

The engineer sighed, and took the chemist’s hands into her own. “Please, call me next time something like this happens, okay? I’m your friend, and I care about you; if you get hurt, don’t hesitate to tell me what happened—what _really_ happened, alright?”

Honey Lemon blushed, and nodded. “I wish I could…” She mumbled under her breath.

GoGo let go, and turned away to hide her own blush. “You still okay to cart one of Hiro’s bins later tonight? I can do it for you if you can’t.”

“I’m fine, GoGo!” Honey Lemon chuckled, “I’m not missing Hiro’s demo for the world.”

“Gotcha.”

“Ah, I can’t wait to see what he’s got up his sleeve!” Honey gushed, “I just know whatever it is, it’s gonna change the world.”


End file.
